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Families face a host of heavy decisions when planning a loved one’s funeral, and one of those difficult decisions is whether to bury or cremate their family member. Oftentimes they seek the wisdom of their clergy and guidance from their funeral directors to help them make this choice.
Clergy will be able to answer questions regarding their faith’s beliefs on burial and cremation as well as offer spiritual counseling. Funeral directors have deep insight after years of supporting families through burial decisions and the many options available.
While most people know what their family has done in the past, they likely only know the basics when it comes to burials and cremations and may struggle with the daunting decision. That is where those in the deathcare industry come in: supporting families through end-of-life decisions and providing helpful resources to make the best choice for themselves and for their family.
Voicing Their Choices
Ideally, people are given a voice in planning their own funeral, including whether they desire burial or cremation. If the dying are able to share their hopes, then it can be a relief to families. They can be certain they are honoring their wishes.
Sometimes, however, families disagree with the choice of burial or cremation, and they want to change the funeral plans already set by the deceased. What is familiar to people is often what is most comfortable in emotional situations, and the dying person may have made a decision that is out of the norm for this family.
Most likely, family members who wish to make changes are reacting this way out of grief or lack of information. Funeral directors are ideal supporters at this moment to answer any misconceptions about burial or cremation while clergy can offer assurance that the loved one’s choice is aligned with their faith. Both caregivers can compassionately emphasize the deceased’s choices and hopefully why they made that choice. The clearer a person’s wishes are, the better.
Honoring Loved Ones
It is not always possible for decisions regarding burial and cremation to be made before a person dies. The decision is then left to their family. It can be helpful for funeral directors and staff to ask detailed questions about the family’s loved one in order to support families in making this difficult decision.
Among other things, families may want to consider the following:
- If there is already a family plot somewhere
- If their loved one died far from wherever they truly considered their home to be
- If there is a place special to the deceased, such as a mountain, lake, ocean
- The costs associated with the various choices
- The values and beliefs of their loved one
- The family’s faith
- The deceased’s spouse’s plans
- The importance of having a memorial place to visit
This information can help funeral directors and other caregivers offer choices that align with the loved ones while honoring the life and value of the deceased.
Other Factors to Consider
Families may also want to discuss the importance of having a tangible place to visit their loved one, whether that is a burial plot that contains a casket or remains, or a mausoleum. Perhaps they will find it meaningful to gather to spread ashes or for immediate family members to have urns in their home.
When guiding the bereaved in choosing a burial type, listen to their questions, concerns, and hopes. Help them articulate who their loved one was, what their loved one believed and found important, and how the grieving family hopes to celebrate the deceased’s life. And remind them that there is no right or wrong way to lay their loved one to rest.