.png)
When a loved one dies at home, it can be both peaceful and shocking for their family, regardless of whether or not the death was expected. There are a few ways in which caregivers in the deathcare industry can support families in preparation for the death, during the death, and afterwards.
Collaboration is Key
If a patient is under hospice care, then collaboration among caregivers is relatively easy to coordinate. The stronger the communication and collaboration, the more prepared the family will feel. Families who feel cared for and prepared prior to the death are less disoriented when it happens, and they are able to focus on each other and their grief rather than react out of fear.
Funeral directors can begin meeting with families in advance to help them, and possibly the patient, plan the funeral, which relieves stress when the death occurs. The hospice may know which funeral home has been chosen and may contact the funeral home at the time of death, allowing the family to sit with each other.
Family clergy can regularly visit the family and collaborate with the hospice’s chaplains and social workers so that all three are aware of the family's questions, fears, hopes, and worries regarding the death itself, their grief, and existential or faith-based concerns. This communication can help the family’s clergy provide ongoing support after the death, while building a strong relationship with the family during the hospice admission.
Unexpected deaths may appear more complicated due to the shock and chaos. However, collaboration between funeral directors, clergy, and potentially law enforcement, can be an act of peace in what may feel like a mess for families.
In most areas of the U.S., law enforcement are required to respond to deaths in the home regardless of the type of death. Depending on the area, hospice deaths may be exempt from this law. The sight of policemen and other first responders filling the home can add fear to the shock of an unexpected death for families. The family’s clergy and, when appropriate, funeral directors, can be mediators and advocates for the families. Their ability to be calm in the chaos may just be what a family needs.
Importance of Honesty and Patience
Both expected and unexpected deaths come with heavy questions of “why” and worries about how a family will cope when seeing the spot in their home where their loved one died. However, even though the situation is difficult, it is important that caregivers and loved ones are transparent about what is happening and what comes next. There may be a lot of anger and confusion, but just allowing them to say everything they need to say, answering the questions honestly, and actively listening with compassion, can help them get some of the closure and comfort that they seek.
Regardless of why someone died at home, their home will never feel the same. It can be helpful for families if caregivers openly discuss this, and allow the family to process how their home feels.
Deaths at home can be peaceful, chaotic, or both. They can be healing or traumatic. Trusted caregivers can be the bridge to hope and peace, as well as be present and helpful in building a foundation for processing grief.